Learning to forgive whether you’re forgiving yourself or another person can sometimes be challenging but it’s always a worthwhile effort. What does forgiveness actually mean to you? Forgiveness might mean that you let go of a grudge, resentment, hostility or even thoughts of revenge towards another person. Forgiveness might even mean that you stop blaming yourself professedly. Beyond the meaning of forgiveness is what happens when you are able to illicit forgiveness. What’s really happening when forgiveness takes place is that you’re allowing yourself the opportunity to move on. When you are able to forgive, you are letting go of pain, and emotions that bind you to past events. Freedom from past pain is liberating and part of that process is forgiveness that brings about peace.
The First Step Is To Understand Yourself
Learn to connect with your emotions so that you are better able to understand what you feel and why. Knowing exactly why you’re feeling hurt is important because once you have clarity you can better understand how to work towards forgiveness. Also, understanding that forgiveness does not mean tolerance can really help you to let go and forgive as well. When you are able to acknowledge exactly how you’re feeling and why by going inwards you can isolate the cause of your pain and in identifying the cause you can then let it go because you understand that living in that past moment will not serve you. It’s here that you discover the true power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is for you so that you can embrace inner peace.
The Second Step Is Perspective
Having the ability to look at an event, an action, or a memory from a place of love and forgiveness means that there has been growth. Perhaps this means that you forgive yourself for something that you said or did. Forgiving yourself is not however an excuse not to do better next time but it is an acknowledgment that there needed to be some maturity and now that growth has occurred you are better able to choose and act differently.
Maybe you need to forgive someone else. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you tolerate or accept the behaviour or act that has led to your pain. Rather, forgives is a way for you to step into your power and draw on your empathy and compassion both for yourself and the other person. Know that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are going to have to continue with the current relationship, forgivenesses doesn’t mean placing yourself in danger; it simply means you can look upon an event with detachment. You are in control of your emotions, your actions and your future. Embrace your power and forgive yourself and others.
The Third Step Is Celebrate
Celebrate that you are discovering that when others hurt you, whether in small or large ways, it’s really more about them than it is about you. Celebrate that as you travel along your path you are lead to uncover your strengths and abilities in creative and unique ways. You are capable of compassion and empathy and understanding. You are capable of knowing that letting go and forgiving both others and oneself is a gift that leads to great inner peace. Celebrate that you have the courage to forgive.